


- Yours Truly

by yorozuyas



Category: Gintama
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Day 3, Fluff, GinHijiGin week, Love, Love Confessions, Love Letters, M/M, Romance, They're a bit OOC, i wrote this for ginhijigin week please love me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-05
Updated: 2016-01-05
Packaged: 2018-05-11 03:16:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,650
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5611885
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yorozuyas/pseuds/yorozuyas
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gintoki writes anonymous love letters to Hijikata.</p>
<p>Written for GinHijiGin week day 3: Confessions</p>
            </blockquote>





	- Yours Truly

_– Dear Hijikata-kun,_

  Gintoki stopped, sweat forming on his brow, and his hands shook from nervousness. It was always like this. He’d start writing, then pause and think about what he should write next. He fuzzed over the littlest things – was he too sweet? Too straightforward? Too creepy?

  It was only a letter, he told himself, and it wasn’t like he and Hijikata knew each other very well. They talked sometimes, but that was all to it, really. They weren’t friends, more of acquaintances than anything else. He knew this, but he never got around to telling Hijikata he liked him. Gintoki took a liking in watching Hijikata from afar – the boy was pretty popular among the girls, unlike Gintoki, so he was usually surrounded by them wherever he went. He wiped the sweat on his forehead, picked up his pen and began writing.

_You were surrounded by a lot of girls again, but you ignored them, like always. You leave, join your friends, then the girls would start squealing. They would say something along the lines of, “Kyaaaa!!! Hijikata-kun is so handsome!!!” I know you pretend like you don’t hear them, but you do, you always do, I see your ears turn red whenever you hear their compliments. I like that about you._

  He bit his lip, staring at the note he’d written, then flushed slightly. His palms were sticky with sweat as he folded up the little paper and shoved it in a small envelope. The bell rang, signaling the end of recess, which spiked up Gintoki’s nervousness even more. He had to move fast, had to put it somewhere Hijikata could easily find, and as the students began entering the classroom, he threw it towards Hijikata’s table, which was two rows in front of him.

   Just then, Hijikata entered the classroom, laughing at something his friend had said. Gintoki’s heart raced. He loved that laugh. He loved the sound of his laugh, he loved his smile. Hijikata took his seat and Gintoki had to cross his fingers in hopes that Hijikata would find or at least read the letter.

   Gintoki rested his chin on his fist and leaned forward as the teacher entered the class. He tried hard not to watch Hijikata, tried hard not to blush or smile or do something so obvious that the latter would guess it was him.

   Hijikata found the letter then, the moment he had looked away, and he had a somewhat confused – more of surprise – look on his face. Gintoki bit the inside of his mouth, watching him through his peripheral vision, trying to keep a straight face. The other boy opened the letter carefully, eyebrows scrunched up together and _goddamn it_ – Gintoki could see Hijikata’s neck turn red.

   Kondo, who was sat behind Hijikata, tapped him on the shoulder then, and he said something then, something that must have been so embarrassing because Hijikata turned all shades of red before smacking the other boy on the head.

   The feeling it gave Gintoki was ineffable – the fact that he had written something that made Hijikata blush that deep made him feel different kinds of emotions he never he knew he could feel.

   “Who do you think it came from?” Kondo had asked after the class ended, wiggling his eyebrows at Hijikata. Gintoki packed his things up slowly, just so he could listen into their conversation.

   “I don’t know, they didn’t sign the paper,” he replied with a hint of disappointment in his voice. “Maybe if they left a hint, I would’ve guessed, but no such luck. I looked around at everyone in the class earlier, but no one seemed to know about this note.”

   “Think it’s Okita Mitsuba?” Kondo suggested. “I mean, she _was_ your girlfriend. Maybe she wants to get back together or somethin’.”

   Hijikata shook his head. “No, I – I doubt it. She wouldn’t do that. What’s done is done, and she understands that.” He clutched the paper tightly in his hand as he slung his bag over his shoulder.

   Just then his eyes met with Gintoki, who had been busy shoving his books into his bag, and much to his surprise, asked him, “How about you, Sakata? You were here during lunch, did you see anyone put this on my table?” He showed him the note.

   “Nope,” Gintoki tried to keep his face expressionless, tried not to give away a single hint that it was him. Instead, he shouldered his bag and shoved his pinky in his ear. “Maybe it’s one o’ those girls who swarm around you like a buncha flies.”

   Hijikata pursed his lips and slowly nodded. Right there and then, Gintoki was so glad he didn’t sign the paper, but perhaps he should’ve left it with a small hint, like which class he was in and such. But Hijikata was smart. He would quickly catch up to his intentions.

   “I’ll keep a look out then,” he murmured and with that, Hijikata left the room.

 

*****

 

   The next morning came. Then a week. Then two. For three weeks Gintoki would leave Hijikata a letter, just a small note telling him how good he looked that day, or the things he’d come to like about him. He would tell him compliments, like how he should grow his hair out a bit more, how he should smile often – those kind of things.

    Gintoki would never leave a sign, much less his name, but he did write which class he was in once. He remembered Hijikata grinning wildly once he’d read the letter, remembered him yelling in excitement as he’d finally been given a hint as to who his secret admirer was.

   Katsura Kotaro, one of Gintoki’s friends, was the only person who knew about his ‘crush’. Takasugi would tease him to no end about it, and Sakamoto would probably run off and tell the whole country he liked Hijikata. Gintoki liked it better like this, he thought, liked it better when he remained anonymous. It made the crush thing that much easier.

    “When are you going to tell him?” Katsura asked him one day as they were studying in the library.

    “What?” Gintoki replied; he was too focused on his JUMP to realize Katsura was speaking to him.

    “Hijikata,” the other boy replied, which resulted in Gintoki falling backwards off his chair with a loud bang. The librarian, an old hag named Otose, yelled at him for being loud and not obeying the rules and so he, together with Katsura, got banned from the library for two weeks.

   “Shut the fuck up!” Gintoki said angrily to Katsura who was laughing his ass off. “It’s your fuckin’ fault in the first place!”

   “I know, I know,” the other boy waved his hand in an apologetic gesture. “Haha…I’m sorry, your face was priceless.”

   He scowled and folded his arms across his chest. Katsura continued, “So really, when are you planning to confess to Hijikata?”

   “Probably never,” Gintoki let out an exasperated sigh. “I’m fine the way things are. It’s…better this way.”

   “I don’t know about you, but,” Katsura shrugged and gave him a pat on the back. “It’s your loss if someone beats you to it.”

   Gintoki did not say anything as they headed to class. He plopped down on his seat, suddenly feeling very, very conflicted. He did like the way things are now – even if he and Hijikata weren’t very close, talking to him and seeing him in class was good enough for him. But would he, for the life of him, actually be able to _handle_ it if he saw Hijikata with someone else again?

   He was curious, very, very curious, to know whether Hijikata had someone in his mind. Whether he wanted to date someone again. Whether he was enough for another commitment. Gintoki was extremely eager to know. But did he have enough guts to ask it himself? And because he was a coward, too shy to let anyone know, he poured out his thoughts into a piece of paper and began writing.

_\- Dear Hijikata,_

 

_If given a chance, would you date someone again? Would you willingly go back to committing yourself in a relationship if I were to reveal who I was? Or would you reject me perhaps, if I confessed to you and told you who I really am? Would you judge me? Let me tell you somethi-_

  Someone was looking over his shoulder. Someone, god _fucking_ damn it, was looking over Gintoki’s shoulder. He could fucking feel it, _someone was fucking breathing in his ear_. He scrambled to fold the paper, to hide it, but whoever it was probably saw the entire thing already. Whoever it was, he hoped it wasn’t the one person he feared seeing it.

  Gulping down his worries, Gintoki looked up and his stomach churned. _It was fucking Hijikata Toushirou._ The boy this letter was meant for, and _god damn it,_ he had a look of confusion on his face, which slowly turned into realization and his jaw hung ajar in surprise.

  Gintoki crumpled up the paper, his cheeks the faintest shade of pink, and shoved the paper into his pocket. He tried to play it cool, you know, like he didn’t do anything, like he wasn’t writing anything. In the heat of the moment, he had his chair leaning backwards against the table behind him, and his pinkie up his fucking nose.

   Hijikata seemed to gather up his wits though, because he pointed a shaking finger at Gintoki and said, “You-”

   “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he deadpanned, looking outside the window.

   Hijikata looked at him in confusion, then walked away dazedly. Out of the corner of his eye, Gintoki could see the boy extremely flushed and he couldn’t help but smile goofily, despite himself.

   Maybe, just maybe, Gintoki could finally find the courage to confess to Hijikata. But that would be for later.

 

  

  

 

**Author's Note:**

> Yeah...I don't know what this is...I wrote this weeks ago at 3 am in the morning..Sorry. Hope you enjoy it anyway! :)


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